After all the strides we had taken forward in the game of real life, it felt like we'd been sent back to start. I felt like an animal left licking its wounds. Like the loser. Hopeless... I had forgotten how horrible it feels to be at war within our home as the battle rages outside our doorstep.
There's an American Girl movie the goldenheads enjoy that has a theme, "Love has to win." At this moment of defeat, I don't know how love can win.
Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong as we warred within our home. The week was a constant prayer to God, "Okay God, help me with this. And now this. And now that."
Because of the prayers of those closest to me, I knew the first step God had bidden me: forgive. In the depths of my heart, I had to choose to forgive the engineer for the wrong I felt done to me. Over and over again, I would choose to verbalize my forgiveness and trust that God would change my heart to follow my verbal decision.
...forgive your brother from your heart. Matthew 18:35Within 24-hours of choosing to forgive within my heart, I voiced forgiveness to his ears. As that sank in and God worked in me to act in a gentle, loving manner, he softened and said, "I'm sorry." What happened next in my heart was a shocker. Instantly, my heart turned ice hard and I didn't want to say you're forgiven again. Revenge (Satan's tactic) was rearing its ugly face. The next minute felt like an hour as I held his hand yet battled in my mind for the words and truth of heart to say, "I forgive you." But I did and the truce was made. We're on the same team again.
Twenty-four hours later, we sit in the same place where the truce was made and I feel victorious, like God graciously moved us forward to the same square well into the game of Life. Somehow, I feel like this game of real life could throw us any card or set-back, but because we're a team again, we'll face it stronger together. There is a spiritual war outside your front door, but there can be peace and unity within your home.
Do you feel like your spouse is your enemy? Do you feel like you're on the same team? Choose to see the lies you're believing if you feel that your spouse is your enemy. Satan is exhilarated when you believe your spouse is the enemy. If needed, practice this exercise from Family Life's "Weekend to Remember": Turn to your mate and say out loud, "You are NOT my enemy." Then add, "You are my teammate." Sometimes you have to start with the words and then beg God to change your heart to follow.