It was a really great conversation with the compassionate one, never mind I don't even recall the subject. Music plays softly in the background, the rest of the family dozing off while we barrel down the dark highway, somewhere between 55-60 miles an hour and we're just chatting about life. Then in an instant, Bambi jumps up out of the ditch and smacks the front middle of the truck. There was but a half-second to brake.
Thankfully, the damage wasn't severe enough to render the truck undrivable. After removing the dangling plastic parts from the front bumper, the engineer and I returned to the truck and resume the drive home.
While the engineer and everyone else quickly dozed off to slumberland, the silence filled me full of doubt and self-judgment. He probably thinks I'm to blame. I am to blame. I should pay more attention. He's mad at me. He's not talking to me. This is going to be a horrible week. We'll be mad at each other all week... And like I naturally do, I stew. Like my savory garlic rosemary beef stew, anger and resentment stew and grow rich within me.
The eye is the lamp of the body. So if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! Matthew 6:22-23Jesus taught these words to the crowds that followed Him. The word eye in this passage means the eye of the mind; the part of the brain that knows something is true and allows you to see or understand more clearly. Now consider the opposite of clearly knowing the truth, it would be believing lies and preventing understanding, leading to withdraw, being concealed and not understanding.
So what I believe and understand either makes me full of light or darkness. If I believe what is true, I am full of light, I'm having a good week. If I believe what if false (a lie), I am full of darkness and I'm having a bad week.
My thought patterns determine the quality of my day. They are the very beginning of my entire outlook and actions. Praise God that something (the Holy Spirit) within me, caused me to stop and perceive truth while driving home that night. The truth is, my poor husband is woke up from sleeping in the car by a big thud. We tend to not think or respond normally when we're woken up from sleep. He did what needed to be done and he went back to sleep. He's tired and there was nothing else to do.
So while everyone else continued their slumber in the truck, I turned off the stew! He's not mad at me. He doesn't judge me or think I'm a bad driver. These things simply happen. And another truth is praise God that we were in the truck, not the minivan or we likely would be sitting on the side of the road, waiting for a tow truck!
An hour later, nearly home, the engineer wakes up from his car nap. "Why do deer have to be so stupid? These things just happen so fast and there's nothing you can do about it." Clearly, he didn't blame me or think less of me.
I smile, praising God in my heart! He caused me to believe truth, direct my thought patterns and fill me with light.
What lie are you believing today that is filling your entire outlook with darkness, or causing a horrible day (week, year...)? Will you choose to turn off the stew? Ask the Holy Spirit to show you truth in the matter at hand.