"Well, I had to yell at someone and mommy was the only one home to yell at!" she verbally reasoned. While I didn't enjoy the hour of verbal abuse, I was more concerned with the heart of the matter: training her in the way she should go, teaching her Jesus' way of love and confronting anger.
Kevin Leman on parenting has revealed to me the wisdom of allowing my golden heads to experience natural consequences. But not knowing the best consequence (no sleepover, no swim party, no bonfire, make dinner for a week, doing sister's chores, doing dishes for a week...) my heart became anxious.
O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. Psalm 131
O mom, hope in God! Wait for God to mold this young heart. Expect that He will do His work in His time, today, tomorrow and always. I can't really know her heart. I can't truly discern her ways. It's too complex for my simple mind to understand. But God knows this face, this heart and what every day of her life beholds (Psalm 139:13-16).
And because I know God's got this golden heart, I can choose to calm my heart, my emotions, my mind, my whole character chooses to be calm. I take a deep breath and remember His control and His trustworthiness.
I trust that my heavenly Father knows best and is in control. Like a momma that knows when it's best to wean a nursing child, even if an infant isn't so sure. It's a natural next step. So also my Father knows best how to direct my child and my parenting, though the process might be grueling.
This anxiety isn't limited to parenting. You might be perusing Facebook and become burdened, concerned and disturbed with broadcasted choices. You could sense a call to something new and different but not know any details of this great unknown. You might desire something so badly yet not know if your will aligns with God's.
Deep breath. God's got her. God's got him. God's got you. God knows best. But maybe in the thick of the unsettledness, the unknown, you need to yell as someone. Please don't yell at your mom. She didn't sign up for that. Goodness knows, I didn't. But take your pleadings, anxiety and verbal shoutings to God. Pour your heart out before Him. Like weaning, the process is painful, but the outcome is peaceful, best and the bond between you and God is tightened because the process builds trust. And like a faithful parent, God's in it every step of the way.
What is your heart anxious or heavy with today? Will you choose to trust God's control over the circumstance and quiet your soul?

1 comment:

Becky DeWilde said...

The truth is, this trusting God, this quieting my heart is a daily battle or choice for me. It is not easy and I haven't mastered it. I have just realized, it is a choice I can make. And a choice that makes a huge difference in the quality of my life. I pray it makes a difference in the lives of those who read this.