War within

It's almost bedtime. I'm tired and I finally see the text sent three-hours ago. The message sends waves of disappointment and loneliness pulsing through my veins. Disappointment morphs into anger. Sensing a a fork in my path (one path toward the chocolate and the other to God's rescue) I choose to grab my New Living Translation and nestle into bed by the lamplight with the psalms.
Though it's hard to focus on the meaning and depth of the words, my mind distracted and emotions searing. Yet, these words stand out boldly:
Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I am trusting Him. Psalm 91:1-2
Read and reread but I can't concentrate. I take a bath and try to repeat the words from the verse the best I can, "refuge, safe place, I am trusting Him." This is only half my brain really. Anger had given way to fear and anxiety in a situation I could do nothing about. And I know this is Satan.
God most often appeals to my will by reason.
Satan most often appeals to my emotions. Satan attacks my reason and confuses an issue.  (The Pursuit of Holiness, Jerry Bridges.)
I feel a full out battle raging within me: truth of God vs. the lies of Satan. In retrospect, I had no reason to fear. It wasn't logical to fear. There was no evidence that should lead to fear. Yet, in that moment, the fear and anxiety were so real. Fear smells like Satan's weaponry.
Hot and sweaty from my bath, I return to my bed and reread the words of the Psalm, trying to pray while drifting off to sleep. It's hard to turn off emotions. To choose to echo the true words of the psalmist: God's weaponry.
In the morning, I feel better and I visit with God about what happened. (I have a friend that asks God, "What was that about?") And suddenly I realize though I was home alone that night, I never felt alone. Spiritually, I wasn't alone. God's Holy Spirit was with me the whole time saying, This is the way, walk in it (Isaiah 30:21); Immanuel, God with us (Isaiah 7:14). And I realize that in the morning, my thoughts aren't so muddled. Suddenly my reason returns. God most often appeals to my choices by reason.
The battle was intense. At one crossroad, I choose God's way, yet at another, I fell victim to Satan's emotional attack. Though in the morning, I totally choose God and He responds to my choice in Psalm 91. Read these verses putting your name in the blank. God wants to respond to your choice. 
Because _____ holds fast to me in love, I will deliver her; I will protect _____ because she knows My name. When ______ calls to Me, I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble; I will rescue her and honor her with long life I satisfy _____ and show her my salvation. Psalm 91:14-16

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