Yet sadly, there was a time we looked at each other and said, I don't want to stay married to you, but because of the promise we made before God; I have to. I remember being so confused during that time. How can I love God so much, yet not want to love my husband?
I once saw a small plaque hanging on a wall that frequents my memory: "Love is a choice; I love my choice." Sometimes that choice is easier than others. It's harder when the engineer and I are separated by "stuff." Truly, it's easy for the "one flesh" to become two again, running parallel lives.
Webster defines parallel:
(of lines, planes, surfaces, or objects) side by side and having the same distance continuously between them.
"parallel lines never meet."
Our relationship with God can be viewed likewise in some aspects. When we believe in Jesus as God's Son paying the penalty for all our sins on the cross, we have an established relationship with God. Think two lines becoming one. This is similar to establishing a God fearing marriage. (The difference is marriage ends when this temporary life ends and a relationship with God is literally forever.) Although all my sins are forgiven, my sin still separates my from God. Choosing to confess my sins after I commit them is for my own benefit.
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,Confession is for my benefit and blessing. Sin separates me from experiencing intimacy with God. It's like taking a step back from my oneness with God, and walking a parallel line with God. (Note that I move, God does not.) With unconfessed sin, I am separated from God AND experience guilt. When I choose to be transparent, confessing sin, I take a step back toward God to oneness (one line again). This immediately restores my intimacy with God because the sin barrier is removed between us. God established forgiveness when Jesus became my sin and was nailed to the cross. It is my choice to experience forgiveness by confessing my sins consistently.
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Psalm 32:1-5
Take time right now to contemplate what sin you need to confess to God and experience His forgiveness. If you are married, consider your position with your spouse: are you running parallel lives or living in oneness?
Whoever conceals transhgression will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
Blessed is the one who fears the LORD always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity. Proverbs 28:13-14