Monday, June 18, 2012
The more I think about myself. The more I hate myself. My character is so far from God’s standard of righteousness. I find myself analyzing my actions and heart condition: I am sometime rude and cutting toward the engineer. I was especially horrible when we visited his sister last. I am a crabby, sarcastic, belittling mother at times. I am selfish. I am embarrassed and frustrated with myself. Sometimes, I see myself outside myself and I see Christ so perfectly as I respond in ways that are not first nature to me: Calm and patient with the girls, constantly encouraging to Derrick. Gracious toward those who typically drive me crazy. Calm in stressful situations. And other times, seeing myself as I am in my natural, mortal, flesh state: crabby, belittling, rude. I can identify with Paul in Romans 7, “I am doing the very thing I hate.” Only God though my faith in Christ Jesus can set me free from this body of death. I need to confess my sin, and receive His offered forgiveness and live knowing that, “there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus,” Romans 8:1.
Still, this is hard to live out. Another place where faith comes in: faith that I am forgiven. Faith that when God justified me, He simultaneously performed the miracle of regeneration and is continually changing my character. I do not obey and want to change my sinful behavior because of fear of the consequences but because His grace changes my character and makes me just. I am a child of God, I exercise rights as His child and act as His child. I am liberated from guilt and power of sin but not the presence of sin.
Thanks be to Jesus for His indescribable gift!
1. Watching the dragon fly with the girls for the first time
2. Showing the girls lighting bugs
3. Hot summer night sitting on the front porch
4. 5% back on Delta plan ticket
5. Airport taxi
6. Dry basement after so much rain
7. Basement shelter in the storm
8. Culver’s frozen custard
9. Messing up the boisterous one’s order so I got frozen custard
10. Swimming with the golden heads two days in a row
11. Sand castles and sand birthday cakes
12. Staying at the lake until 6